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Breaking the Cycle: How to Heal Inner Childhood Wounds

By Remy Meraz March 2, 2023

Breaking the Cycle: How to Heal Inner Childhood Wounds

Our experiences as children can shape our identity and how we interact with the world around us in ways that we may not even realize. Positive childhood experiences lay a foundation for a healthy and happy life, while negative experiences can lead to deep emotional scars that can impact our minds and body. This pain can remain buried in our subconscious, affecting our decisions as adults as well as our connections with friends and family.

However, with inner work, it's possible to heal these wounds and promote emotional and physical wellness. In this blog post, we'll dive into what inner work is and why it's important. We'll also offer tips and techniques for connecting with your inner child to reduce stress and transform your adult self.

By connecting with your younger self and breaking the cycle of negative patterns, you can tap into your feelings and create a more satisfying life for yourself.

Tell me the meaning of inner child.

Inner childhood wounds: Tell me the meaning of inner child.

The concept of the inner child is based on the idea that we all carry within us an emotional imprint of our childhood experiences. This imprint is a reflection of how we perceived and processed the events and feelings we experienced during our early years. Our inner child is that part of us that holds these imprints, and it can influence our behavior, beliefs, and feelings in adulthood.

Why is inner child healing important?

Inner child healing is important because childhood experiences can have a profound impact on our emotional and physical well-being as adults. The way we were treated and the experiences we had as children can shape our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and other people. Negative experiences such as neglect, abuse, or trauma can lead to emotional damage that impacts our relationships, self-esteem, and overall quality of life.

The results of a traumatic event may manifest in an adult in a variety of ways, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, difficulty with intimacy or trust, and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or self-harm. Without addressing the hurts from the past, individuals may continue to engage in the wrong patterns and behaviors, which can lead to a lifetime of pain and suffering.

What is inner child work?

Inner child work is a form of therapy that focuses on connecting with and healing the inner child. It involves identifying and addressing any psychological pain that may have been caused by childhood experiences. Inner child work is often done in conjunction with other types of therapy and may involve a combination of techniques such as visualization, talk therapy, and somatic therapy.

Inner work with a therapist can look different depending on the individual and the therapist's approach, but generally, it involves several steps.

Building a relationship with the therapist

Inner childhood wounds: Building a relationship with the therapist

The first step in inner child work is establishing a trusting and supportive relationship with the therapist. This involves creating a safe space so that the individual doesn't feel uncomfortable and can explore their feelings and experiences openly.

Exploring childhood experiences:

The therapist will spend time with the individual unpacking their childhood experiences and identifying any patterns that may have developed as a result of those experiences. This may involve exploring memories, dreams, or experiences that may be connected to childhood.

Identifying triggers and patterns:

Exploring patterns of behavior or relationships that may be causing emotional distress or dysfunction is another crucial step. The therapist will help the individual identify triggers and patterns that may be related to their childhood trauma or experiences. Oftentimes, this is closely related to the individual's parents; for example, if a person was very close with one parent during their childhood and later became estranged following their parents' divorce, this may leave the adult child feeling rejected later on.

Connecting with the wounded inner child:

Once triggers and patterns have been identified, the therapist will work with the individual to connect with their inner child. This may involve visualization exercises, mirror work, guided imagery, or other techniques that help the individual connect their brain with their emotions and experiences as a child.

Nurturing the inner child:

The therapist will help the individual learn how to nurture and care for their inner child. This may involve incorporating self-care practices like meditation into their daily lives, practicing self-compassion, and learning how to respond to triggers and patterns in a healthy and positive way.

Resolving emotional wounds:

The ultimate goal of inner child work is to resolve emotional wounds and promote emotional support. The therapist will work with the individual to develop strategies for addressing emotional wounds, such as trauma-focused therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, or other evidence-based approaches.

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Integration and maintenance:

Once emotional wounds have been addressed and healing has begun, the therapist will work with the individual to integrate their new skills and behaviors into their daily life. This may involve developing a maintenance plan to help prevent relapse and promote ongoing emotional wellness.

Overall, the process of inner work with a therapist is a collaborative and individualized process that can promote emotional healing and improve the overall quality of life. By working with a trained mental health professional, individuals can gain the support, guidance, and tools they need to break negative patterns and promote emotional well-being.

How to connect with your inner child

Connecting with your inner child is an essential step in the inner child healing process. Here are some techniques you can use to connect with your inner child:

Practicing mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the current moment. Practicing mindfulness through things like meditation and intentional breathing can help you connect with your inner child by bringing awareness to your thoughts and emotions. By tuning out the outside world and spending time tuning into how you are feeling, you can identify patterns and triggers that may be related to your childhood experiences.

To practice mindfulness, find a quiet and comfortable space where you won't be interrupted. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Notice the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring it back to your breath. As you become more comfortable with this practice, you can start to dig into your thoughts and emotions more deeply.


Journaling is a powerful tool for connecting with your inner child. It allows you to express your thoughts and emotions in a safe and private space. By journaling, you can write down your feelings and experiences to begin identifying patterns and triggers that may be related to your childhood.

To start journaling, set aside a regular time each day to write. Find a quiet and comfortable space where you won't be interrupted. Begin by writing about your thoughts and feelings. Don't worry about grammar or punctuation, just focus on expressing yourself honestly.

Play Therapy

Play therapy is a form of therapy that uses play as a means of communication. It is often used with children but can be helpful for adults as well. Play therapy allows you to connect with your inner child in a playful and non-threatening way.

To practice play therapy, tap into your childlike personality and set aside some time to play. This could be anything from coloring to playing with toys. Allow yourself to play without any specific goal or agenda. As you play, notice any thoughts or emotions that come up.

Practicing self-love and compassion

Practicing self-love and compassion is an essential part of connecting with your inner child. It involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would treat a child. By practicing and prioritizing self-compassion, you can begin to heal emotional wounds and develop a more positive self-image.

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To show yourself love and compassion, start by being kind and gentle. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a child. This can involve setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and giving both your mind and physical body permission to rest and recharge.

Guidance from a qualified professional

Working with a mental health professional is an essential part of the inner child healing journey. A therapist can help you identify and address emotional wounds, develop coping skills, and promote overall well-being. They can also offer guidance and encouragement as you work through fear, anxiety, or mental health issues.

When looking for professional help, it's important to find someone who has experience working with inner child healing. This may involve seeking out a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy or childhood development. It's also important to find someone who you feel comfortable working with and who you feel can listen to and guide you based on your own needs.


Inner work is a powerful process that can help you address deep, psychological scars and promote physical and mental wellness. By turning your attention inwards, you can begin to identify unhelpful patterns and triggers that may be related to your childhood experiences. This can help you break negative patterns and create a healthier life for yourself.

If you want to heal from the past and achieve a greater sense of joy in your life, there are many techniques and practices you can use to connect with your inner child. These include mindful journaling, play therapy, practicing self-care and compassion, and seeking guidance from a qualified therapist.

Remember the whole journey of healing takes time and patience. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you work through the healing process, and seek out the support and guidance you need to promote positive emotions and a sense of wellness. With time and effort, you can start to break those negative patterns and create a healthy and happy life for yourself.

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About Remy Meraz

Remy Meraz, co-founder, and CEO of Zella Life, is a visionary leader who leveraged corporate glass ceiling challenges as a woman of color to drive systemic change.

While leading and cultivating high-performance teams from VC-backed startups to Fortune 500, she consistently faced obstacles such as inadequate mentorship, lack of psychological safety, and non-personalized training. Taking matters into her own hands, she turned to executive coaching and NLP training. This life-changing growth experience led to breaking leadership barriers and a passion for cognitive psychology.

Motivated by her experiences, she co-founded Zella Life, an innovative AI-driven coaching platform bridging the talent development gap by enhancing soft skills and emotional intelligence (EQ) in the workplace.

Her vision with Zella Life is to transform professional development into an inclusive and impactful journey, focused on the distinct needs of both individuals and organizations. She aims to promote advancement and culture change by ensuring every professional's growth is acknowledged and supported.

Today, Remy is recognized as an influential innovator, trainer, mentor, and business leader. Under her leadership, Zella Life has delivered significant measurable outcomes for numerous well-known brands. This track record of positive outcomes garnered attention and funding from Google for Startups and Pledge LA, establishing Zella Life as a pivotal force in the learning and development arena tackling and resolving fundamental talent development issues for organizations of all sizes.

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